The Worst Baby Safe Haven Ad Ever

(I have been away for way too long, due to moving my home of 27 years from 10 rooms to 6–and a lot of accompanying problems that at this point have become unbearable to think about). I am back now–or trying to be back and intend to write regularly).

Getting back in the swing of blogging, I decided to check out my old “friend” Mike Morrisey and his Baby Safe Haven crap fantasies on Facebook. As expected, Mike  never fails to amuse or disappoint.

Recently Mike  posted this Baby Safe Haven ad, the most fucked up BSH ad  ever. I had to watch it three times before I could figure out what was going on. It makes Morrisey’s own Baby Safe Haven Rap look like VMA material.  The provenance of the video is appropriately anonymous. It appears , however, to be produced in Massachusetts with three  attractive young women (Sophia, Thalita, and Erica) recruited to the Morrisey cult with promises of pop fame and fortune; that  is, one of Mike’s ego-popping  braggadocio-filled Generation Y branding .projects.  Mike waxes ecstatic:

It’s AWESOME when we see school projects that are about our Massachusetts Baby Safe Haven law!!This one is great! And we love the Taylor Swift reference. Take a look at what a youth led, youth culture awareess  (sic)campaign does to bring about knowledge of our law!

Watch it.  Seriously,   Watch it through to the end.  Why twins? Are these girls on chocolate bar schrooms? Who let them loose in their awesome  high school gym with a camera? Despite the disclaimer, Taylor Swift should sue. John Waters fans will appreciate it.

 

From the video:

They (pre-BSH dumpees) resorted to crime in an attempt to erase their past. This is a world in which the Safe Haven Laws were not in effect. Parents resorted to abandoning their newborns in the streets resulting in permanent psychological damage for the babies.

Because the children were left to fend for themselves in the world they resorted to a life of crime and were put into jail shortly after for stealing.

I thought only adoptees turned  to a life of crime, mayhem, and murder! Why didn’t somebody tell me years ago that my cousin abandonees followed the same career path as we do? Why didn’t somebody tell me that  prior to  BSH, abandoned newborns brought themselves up on the streets with no adult  care or supervision, eating out of garbage cans,slumming on skid row, under bridges, in squats and abandoned warehouses, with only thievery to console them?  Why didn’t somebody tell me  that abandoned newborns grew up in dark hoodies and practiced cleverly choreographed robbery in an attempt to assuage the shame of bastardy abandonment?  This video makes me want to avoid downtown after 6:00 PM. You never know when a pre-BSHer will accost you and demand some kind of reparation for not passing BSH laws sooner.

The good part is that I can’t imagine that this bizarre advertising attempt would influence anyone to use a BSH law. They’d have to figure out what it is about first. But maybe Sophia, Thalita, and Erica decided to send-up Mr, M and he’s already so far out there they haven’t snagged him yet.

Please feel free to critique this Gen Y-Morrisey piece here, on Facebook, or Youtube.

 

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