For Bastardette’s special New Year message scroll below this entry.
It’s 12:01 AM and obcs are officially open in Maine! Happy New Year!
It’s been a long wait from June 25, 2007 when LD 1084 was signed into law to today when the restoration of our rights in Maine went into effect officially. Bastard Nation salutes Mainers and sends many happy returns of the day.
Of course, no celebration is complete without a Grinch, even if it’s not Christmas.
The Grinch in Maine comes in the lumbering form of the Portland Press Herald editorial board. On the prowl for something to spoilsport at the end of the holiday season, the paper pounced on the dead issue of records and identity rights for the state’s adopted class. Adoption records should be accessed with caution/People seeking information about themselves should also respect the privacy of others.
The editorial warns of the dire consequences snoopy adopted folks pose to the stability of Maine’s apparent fragile family infrastructure which will collapse without the studied discretion and good manners of the newly-loosed adopted class on closet-cringing parents. Boo!
Here’s what the paper says about the imminent danger:
Birth parents, who were promised anonymity when they gave children up for adoption, will no longer have their privacy protected. While the new law does allow them to say if they don’t want to be contacted, whether that wish is honored will ultimately be out of their hands.
The Legislature was presented with a true dilemma that left little room for compromise. The law’s attempts to provide some privacy to the birth parents still falls far short of what they had been promised.
Critics have charged that breaking the promise of confidentiality now could push vulnerable pregnant women away from adoption in the future, leading more of them toward the anonymous choice of abortion. In the end, the Legislature responded to the powerful arguments of the adoptees and came down on the side of the now-adult children at the expense of their birth parents…
…For people who have fought so long to learn their birth parents’ identities, the names alone may not be enough. The need to know more about them will be hard to resist.
But in their zeal to learn more about their birth families, they should respect the privacy of those who do not want to be found.
And how this suggestion could be implemented is a mystery, though I’m sure the Portland Diocese could come up with something:
Agencies should track whether this law does indeed affect the decisions of women with unwanted pregnancies who are considering adoption. And everyone involved should approach this new door with caution.
I always wonder about newspaper editors who want to keep their readers from accessing their own public records while at the same time they have no compunction about demanding access to the public records of total strangers to do with what they wish. I missed the part where the media has a special right to public records and adoptees can lump it.
I don’t remember the Press Herald, editorializing against LD 1084, but it may have. I scanned the paper’s archives tonight and found nothing. If Bobbi is reading this, perhaps she can clarify. So why now? Maybe it’s a slow news week. Maybe the editor received a used copy of the rudely written NCFA Factbook 3 and feels like chasing the horse. Or got a lump of coal for Christmas from Bastardette’s friend Krampus. Come to think of it, the Grinch sort of resembles Krampus!
Bastard Nation had nothing to do with the Maine campaign, but Bastardette and Bastard Nation are thrilled that OBC for ME has shown reformists, as we have, that compromise is not acceptable; that our rights can and must be restored without blinking. Anything less than full, unrestricted access to our own state-held birth records is a favor that subverts rights.
Happy New Year to Bobbi Beavers, Sen. Paula Benoit, OBC for ME, and all adopted Mainers now equal under Maine law! Who knows! The Portland Grinch may even thaw out his heart when he sees that the adopted are like everybody else.
I’ll post press coverage on the January 2 opening day activities here. Also go to the OBC for ME webpage for information on the bill and how you can get your obc if you’re a Maine adoptee.
ADDENDA: January 1, 2009, 1:30 PM: Robin Westbrook has posted her thoughts on the Portland Press Herald editorial New Year, Same Old Myths on her blog Motherhood Deleted.
They trot out that same old “natural parent privacy” chestnut no matter how many times we let them know that this has never been an issue with the greatest majority of us. When someone writes a piece like that, they are putting words in my mouth that don’t belong there! To say it pisses me off, highly, would be an understatement.
Where this author is gravely misinformed is in the fact that we all have the right, adopted people and natural mothers, regardless of the law, to refuse or accept a relationship. Who are these self-appointed experts to try to speak for us?
One more time; I was never guaranteed, offered nor did I ask for privacy, anonymity or any other sort of “protection” from my own child! Aaaaargh!!!
I don’t want anyone speaking for me either.I have a voice, and I know my rights were NOT in question during the taking of my son for adoption. It was all about the wrecker insuring, the adopter got my baby.
As a mother I wasn’t even given the legal papers to my son’s adoption. 42 years later still no papers but did get legal birth cert without legalized LIES on it.
Now my son has two one fake, and one real just like moms. lol
Somehow our rights were violated (no counsel, no legal service, no judge, no court) and then they turn around and tell us something that was supposedly on legal papers, how do these people that speak for us KNOW what was on OUR papers.
Robin, I know you have yours, I never got mine, and I wasn’t in a home. I had my baby in a private hospital paid by my parents, no state paying for anything. But somehow I didn’t deserve these papers.
Abuses were abundant and they were because they KNEW they could get away with it as we were minors, with no rights, NOWADAYS, minors have lawyers. Rights, legal reps.
how wonderful we weren’t even given what criminals got lawyers, and we just gave birth didn’t commit a crime, giving birth wasn’t illegal.
yts
Great point about journalists having no problem accessing public records for their own ends.
WAY TO GO MAINE!!!!
“The law’s attempts to provide some privacy to the birth parents still falls far short of what they had been promised.”
Bullshit. Natural parents were never promised anonymity. If they had been, it would have been made explicit. Where nothing is stated, nothing is promised.
The sky hasn’t fallen in those countries or states where adoption records have been open for years. It won’t fall in Maine either.
Congratulations to all those who worked so hard to achieve this.
We need to challenge those who write these articles; they need to show us where/when/how this privacy was promised. Show us the law that natural mothers demanded for permanent incasement in “privacy.”
Oh wait, it doesn’t exist.
That’s the only way to stop this BS – mothers have to speak out and we have to challeng writers to prove the point.
I think one way to challenge this is for mothers to continue to demand, at a minimum, the OBC. We have every right to it, we gave birth.
From the article:
“But it is unlikely that the lawmakers heard much from the people who desperately want to keep their past lives a secret, since they would not have exposed themselves in a public forum.”
First – I’m guessing they didn’t hear from them because reseach has proven very few want to remain anonymous. Hard to get input from people who don’t exist.
Second – I wonder how many of the handful of natural parents who truly do not want the OBC released are politicians, priests, philanderers? (you get the picture).
Bobbi, ecstatic in Maine, here …
Thanks, Marley, for your commentary on the PPH editorial. And no, they did not editorialize for or against LD 1084 in 2007 or the same bill LD 1805 in 2006 though a group of OBC for ME people met with their editorial staff in 2006.
Just got back from all the excitement and celebration in Augusta – January 1 through today. Whew! No last minutes stays as they had in Canada – I worried about that due to the paranoia I developed over the past 4 years while working on this effort.
For those who wish to know who founded OBC for ME in February 2005, it was 3 parents of origin (Paul Schibbelhute of NH, Peter Jensen of ASCME.net and myself) and one adoptee, Cathy Robishaw. We had many parents of origin testify at the public hearings in both 06 and 07 but we were invisible and they were deaf to our words (less so in 07, thankfully).
I need to correct a figure in the news articles today about OBC for ME Day yesterday. Former Senator Paula Benoit (lead sponsor in the Senate) and another adoptee stayed until 5 PM – there were almost 50 adoptees of the 141 pre-registered who got their OBC (the young man from Florida call me this afternoon to tell me he was having lunch with his first mother – he had gone from the OVR to the Maine Archives, back to OVR to get his mothers marriage certificate and then to the internet and got the current address of his mother. He called her this morning from Augusta and met at noon in Lewiston, ME – tissues, please – and later he called again to have her tell me directly how thrilled she is to meet him – she had no other children, but the father did and he has given Dan his info). In addition, at least a dozen people who had not pre-registered came in and applied (will get their OBC’s next week).
We were thrilled that Senator Lou and Pat D’Allesandro of NH (SB 335) came with their daughter Ann and Ann’s husband to witness Ann getting her OBC. Search Angel Larry Maurice of NH came too and was madly helping people with their searches (via computer) all during our buffet dinner reception last night, prior to our hour of sharing.
We were also excited that our prime sponsor, Rep David Farrington was able to join us at the Maine OVR for the first couple of hours. OBC for ME presented both David and Paula with Certificates of Appreciation and the law (Maine Public Law, Chapter 409) printed on parchment paper, scrolled and ribboned.
The adoptee from California and one from Massachusetts have found almost all the info they need. Unfortunately Cathy did not get her fathers’ name as most did not, and she already had her mother’s name via a search angel. One of the highlights of the evening was when her 10 year old son stood up during the last hour when every one was giving their reactions to the day, and stated how proud he was of his mom for working on this law And her parents restated their support of her efforts, as well.
I’d be remiss if I did not also thank Carolyn Hoard of AAC who helped me write the Maine law (she did most of it – I tweaked it) as she had done for NH, tailoring the Oregon law to the adoption and birth certificate laws of our states.
This was a truly wonderful group effort. It just happened that I was retired and was the one able to work on it full time for 2 and half years.
Now to catch up on 200 new emails and 2000 old emails ….
Bobbi Beavers
Co-founder – OBC for ME
Maine Rep – AAC
Bobbi, ecstatic in Maine, here …
Thanks, Marley, for your commentary on the PPH editorial. And no, they did not editorialize for or against LD 1084 in 2007 or the same bill LD 1805 in 2006 though a group of OBC for ME people met with their editorial staff in 2006.
Just got back from all the excitement and celebration in Augusta – January 1 through today. Whew! No last minutes stays as they had in Canada – I worried about that due to the paranoia I developed over the past 4 years while working on this effort.
For those who wish to know who founded OBC for ME in February 2005, it was 3 parents of origin (Paul Schibbelhute of NH, Peter Jensen of ASCME.net and myself) and one adoptee, Cathy Robishaw. We had many parents of origin testify at the public hearings in both 06 and 07 but we were invisible and they were deaf to our words (less so in 07, thankfully).
I need to correct a figure in the news articles today about OBC for ME Day yesterday. Former Senator Paula Benoit (lead sponsor in the Senate) and another adoptee stayed until 5 PM – there were almost 50 adoptees of the 141 pre-registered who got their OBC (the young man from Florida call me this afternoon to tell me he was having lunch with his first mother – he had gone from the OVR to the Maine Archives, back to OVR to get his mothers marriage certificate and then to the internet and got the current address of his mother. He called her this morning from Augusta and met at noon in Lewiston, ME – tissues, please – and later he called again to have her tell me directly how thrilled she is to meet him – she had no other children, but the father did and he has given Dan his info). In addition, at least a dozen people who had not pre-registered came in and applied (will get their OBC’s next week).
We were thrilled that Senator Lou and Pat D’Allesandro of NH (SB 335) came with their daughter Ann and Ann’s husband to witness Ann getting her OBC. Search Angel Larry Maurice of NH came too and was madly helping people with their searches (via computer) all during our buffet dinner reception last night, prior to our hour of sharing.
We were also excited that our prime sponsor, Rep David Farrington was able to join us at the Maine OVR for the first couple of hours. OBC for ME presented both David and Paula with Certificates of Appreciation and the law (Maine Public Law Chapter 409) printed on parchment paper, scrolled and ribboned.
The adoptee from California and one from Massachusetts have found almost all the info they need. Unfortunately Cathy did not get her fathers’ name as most did not, and she already had her mother’s name via a search angel. One of the highlights of the evening was when her 10 year old son stood up during the last hour when every one was giving their reactions to the day, and stated how proud he was of his mom for working on this law And her parents restated their support of her efforts, as well.
I’d be remiss if I did not also thank Carolyn Hoard of AAC who helped me write the Maine law (she did most of it – I tweaked it) as she had done for NH, tailoring the Oregon law to the adoption and birth certificate laws of our states.
This was a truly wonderful group effort. It just happened that I was retired and was the one able to work on it full time for 2 and half years.
Now to catch up on 200 new emails and 2000 old emails ….
Bobbi Beavers
Co-founder – OBC for ME
Maine Rep – AAC
Thanks, Bobbi, for you additions and insight. And work! It must have really been exciting. I was in NH when records opened there. I think you were, too, but I’m not sure I know Paul. was. I’m glad Sen. D made it. I forgot his daughter was born in Maine.
What a great story about the California fellow. Will it have media coverage? I haven’t seen it yet, though I’m collecting stories. I’ll wait until Monday to put them up. so I’ll have a good solid collection by then.
I saw the article in the Portland paper today, and all the awful comments. Paraphrasing Alice Roosevelt on Calvin Coolidge, those commenters were weaned on pickles.
I get so so tired of people who were adopted demanding their “rights” at the possible expense of the rights of the people who created them. So so soooo tired.
It seems to me that they would, instead of demanding their Rights with a capital R, they would instead be eternally grateful that the women who chose life instead of aborting them. She sacrificed once for them already and yet they ask it of her again potentially.
Yes, there are plenty of people who gave up children for adoption who would be delighted to have them show up on the door. I have no problem with that. Good for them. But there are also those people who it would be nothing but heartache or trouble for – to suddenly have this person show up in their lives, uninvited.
How can you possibly ask, or rather, demand that of someone? After all they did for you? The selfishness of it blows my mind.
And yes, I gave a baby up for adoption. I have kept in contact with the family for the last 22 years. That doesn’t mean it would or should work for all. And no, I am not his “natural parent” nor his “birth mother” nor any other sort of mother or parent. DNA and squeezing a child out past my vagina doesn’t make me a mom or a parent, of any sort.
As far as refering to yourselves as “bastards” or any adopted person as a “bastard”? Your parentage has nothing to do with it but I would say, after reading through much of this blog and the comments, that you all earn the title.
Wear it well.
“”squeezing a child out past my vagina doesn’t make me a mom or a parent, of any sort. “”
Sooooo….to the ‘vagina’ that sounds like an ‘orange’..why have you been in contact for 22 years with the family that adopted your ‘juice’ if you are nothing but a ‘vagina’ ‘squeezing’ something out of that particular female orifice?
Mo–
Do you have a right to your own birth certificate? If you are not adopted the answer is yes. Adopted adults unless they live in OR, AL, NH, ME, KS or AK do not. Don’t you find that a bit odd? Or do you believe that birth parents (oh,that’s right you’re not any kind of parent!) deserve a special right that no other parent has: the right to block access to an adult offspring’s birth certificate.
Courts have consistently ruled that no parent has a right of anonymity from their own offspring.
Demanding that someone be grateful for not being aborted is ridiculous. If you were aborted you’d have never lived so there can be no argument to that effect. Abortion and adoption have no connection. One has an abortion because they don’t want to be pregnant. One places a child for adoption because they don’t want to or can’t or are not allowed to parent. Apparently you wanted to be pregnant. Are we supposed to congratulate you for that leisure time activity?
I’m sure this would shock you, but not all adopted persons want to show up on somebody’s doorstep. They want their public documents, that’s it.
You are clearly a reunionist or sorts, and do not recognize the right to one’s own public records. Why, after all, would somebody want it other than to wreck somebody’s life?
Is it normal for women who give birth to not be defined as a mother of some kind. It’s a biological reality whether you like it or not. What was that lump you popped out? A tumor?
Bastard is a proud term–and a legal term. Live with it.
HEY MO!
Too bad you get “so so sooooo tired” listening to adoptees “demanding” their rights. You probably weren’t adopted yourself, even though you gave a child up for adoption you didnt walk in the shoes of an adoptee. You dont know what it is like to grow up wondering who gave birth to you. Or if the person who gave birth to you would like to meet you. or if you have any siblings. Or if you look like the man or woman that created you. Or if your natural talents to draw or sing come from them. You wouldn’t know what it is like to be a child growing up wondering these things because you gave a child away and didn’t even think of these things until you were older. Adopted children think of these things WHILE they are growing up and after they have grown up. It is human nature to do so. I have been wondering them for over 45 years because I am 51 years old, and yes, adopted from the state of Maine when I was two weeks old, told by my parents all my life that i was adopted, which i believe is the right thing to do, and started wondering questions like i listed starting at about the age of 6. Dont refer to us as people who may “show up” on your doorsteps as though we are cats or mice. we are people, SURPRISE! Too bad for those of you who would feel so “miserable” if we “show up”. We’ve gone through our feelings of unhappiness not know how we got on this Earth. Oh yeah, and by the way, Mo, its interesting to me, that you dont want to refer to yourself as a “birthmom”, or a “natural parent” or “a parent of any kind”. if you are not any of those things, than i would like to know why it was so important for you to keep in touch with your whatever you call it, for 22 years. And its so great that you had the chance to do that, what if you had not?? you are a Dr Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. One side of you doesnt have any feelings or emotions for children that grew up wanting to meet the people that created them, but the other side of you had to “stay in touch” for 22 years. Seems all of your questions were answered seeing that you had all that contact.
– Tired of Listening to People Who Are Tired of Caring About Adoptees That Grew Up With Unanswered Questions Their Entire Lives”